My girlfriend and I practiced all of these simple suggestions, and 10/10 recommend.
Maybe you’re getting bored with your usual sex routine, or you just want to try something new. Maybe you want to spice up your relationship, or maybe you just want to feel adventurous. Either way, you want to make sex hotter for yourself and your partner.
And I totally get it. Until I met my current girlfriend and became sexually comfortable with her, I thought sex was stagnant and nothing spectacular. But I’ve learned it’s so much more than that. I’ve been able to try new things like I’ve subconsciously always wanted to, and I’m so grateful.
Below are six amazing ways my girlfriend and I have spiced up our sex life that you may also enjoy.
1. First, ensure the space will be comfortable for you both
While having ~hot~ sex is the goal, being too hot (or too cold) temperature-wise makes enjoying sex much harder. Further, being tangled up in blankets or experiencing other obstacles can be distracting and take away from the fun.
So, before foreplay, I encourage making sure the space is comfortable, and that it will continue to stay that way even as things “heat up” in the bedroom.
Here’s what can help:
- Turning on a fan
- Changing the temperature in your house
- Rearranging the blankets
- Keeping a cool washcloth (or ice, if you want to get a little kinky) nearby
- Having a cool (or warm) drink on your bedside table
2. Compliment the other person specifically and about their insecurities
While being physically comfortable during sex is important — AKA, enjoying the sensations you’re feeling, not being too hot, et cetera — so is being emotionally comfortable.
This may or may not surprise you, but something I appreciate receiving from my partner most during sex is compliments. I’m not alone here, either: According to research, women are more satisfied with sex and their relationship when they believe their partner appreciates their body.
Compliments can be both sexy and comforting, especially when they’re specific and pertaining to sexual insecurities you have.
Here are examples of specific compliments you can give:
- “I love the facial expressions you make when you come. You’re so beautiful.”
- “I love how enthusiastic you are when you go down on me because it makes my orgasms more intense.”
- And most of all, try to keep your partner’s insecurities in mind when complimenting them. For me at least, this kind of reassurance can lower performance anxiety and even lead to faster, better orgasms.
Some examples of what you can say include:
- “I love how vocal you are. It makes me feel good to know you’re feeling good, and you sound so sexy.” (If they’re insecure about being loud or noises they make.)
- “I love going down on you. You taste amazing.” (If they’re insecure about how they taste or how long they take to finish.)
3. Play sensual music and have sex to the beat of the current song
Something my girlfriend and I recently started trying is having sex to a sensual playlist — and it’s amazing.
But don’t only play the music, try to pay attention to the beat, as well. As you may have seen in the “Fifty Shades of Grey” movies, having sex to the beat of the current song is hot. It can bring suspense, add emphasis to what you’re doing, and even be a way to tease your partner.
Below are some songs I think are perfect to play during sex:
- “Feeling Good” by Michael Buble
- “Dangerous Woman” by Ariana Grande
- “PILLLOWTALK” by Zayn
4. Engage in more foreplay than you usually would
Don’t get me wrong, I’m always here for skipping foreplay and going straight to sex. As much as I love kissing my girlfriend, I get excited and want to jump in ASAP.
But we’ve found that engaging in more foreplay than usual can actually be extra fun. This is for a variety of reasons, such as:
- It feels good physically
- It builds suspense
- It’s a way to tease each other
- Sex after feels better because of the build-up
- It makes ~sexy time~ last longer
5. Be enthusiastic in your voice and actions
Knowing your partner wants to have sex is required before getting started, but being able to tell just how much they want it is sexy. When my partner is enthusiastic both verbally and physically, I feel more comfortable acting in the same ways, and we both feel more attractive and loved. All in all, enthusiasm and taking an active role make sex more exciting.
Below, see some ways you can show enthusiasm with your voice:
- Moaning
- A change in breathing or tone
- Sharing how good it feels or how much you love it
- Letting your partner know they’re doing a good job
And here are some ways you can do so with your body:
- Kissing them harder or in extra places
- Roaming your hands over their body while kissing them
- Moving faster
- Pushing your body toward theirs, or holding them tighter
6. Try new positions, and also do ones that consistently work
I’ve found that having fun sex is all about sticking to what you know, but also not being afraid to experiment a little.
For example, I love when my partner touches me while I’m on my back, but I recently discovered I also love when she touches me while I’m on top of her. Knowing this is beneficial because I have a go-to when I’m struggling to climax, but I also have an option when I want to do something a little new and different.
If you and your partner are interested in switching it up, here are some options:
- Try being on the top or the bottom (whichever you’re not used to)
- Lie on your side
- Stand together in the shower
- Try a different room or space
Takeaways
Like I mentioned previously, when I used to hook up with guys randomly, I never thought about making sex hotter — I assumed it would be about the same every time, and I was too shy to try changing anything.
But now that I’m in a comfortable, consistent relationship with a loving girlfriend, I’ve learned the extent to which sex can be fun. I’ve learned more about what I like, and I’ve become more comfortable trying things I haven’t done before. I feel more confident during sex, and it’s much sexier.
Sometimes I worry I’m running out of new ideas to try, but then I remind myself that’s what I thought a few years ago, and I was wrong then. In a way, there aren’t any limits to experimentation!
I encourage you to try some items on this list (or others you or your partner have in mind) and have fun!
